The University of Texas at Austin

Law in Popular Culture collection

The Legal Studies Forum
Volume 30, Number 1/2 (2006)
reprinted by permission Legal Studies Forum

Lawyers & Poets
Law Amidst the Rest

JOHN CHARLES KLEEFELD
_______________________

Boilerplate

This agreement dated the ___ day of ___
by and between ___ and ___
(jointly, We and Us).

Know all persons by these presents:
Time, we agree, is of the essence.
We're much obliged.

Our heirs and successors
administrators and executors
and permitted assigns-jointly and severally,
     we bind (perhaps to their surprise).

Whereas, hereinafter,
heretofore, whereafter.
Whatever.

Do this, promise that,
quid pro quo, tit for tat.
Good and valuable consideration
     (the receipt and sufficiency of which is hereby acknowledged).

This is our entire Agreement: no warranties, guarantees, sureties
     or security,
except as in Schedule A. It's not a question of misanthropy,
just certainty, finality.

Notice by mail and/or facsimile transmission;
a contract's no place for preterition,
Let's cover all our bases.

Disagreements? Mediation, arbitration,
some provision to avoid litigation,
but just in case-invalidity of any part of this Agreement shall
     not affect validity of the whole.

[589]


Choice of laws and choice of forum
damages clause, fixed or ad valorem,
We're almost there now.

Execution's alright in counterpart,
residing as we do miles apart
yet-ad idem.

Lo! A work of beauty, our joint travail,
this Agreement, ironclad, none can assail,
until we part.

See you in court:  ___ v. ___.       

[590]


John Charles Kleefeld had a first poem, "A Daddy is Fun to Have," earn a scathing review from the local bully when it appeared in the Huron Street School Yearbook. He overcame the trauma, continued to publish each year in the Yearbook, then all but forgot about poetry until the interest returned with a mid-life vengeance.
Kleefeld was born in Toronto, Ontario and now lives in Vancouver, British Columbia, where he practices law, mediates disputes, and teaches a course in class actions at the University of British Columbia Law School. He has also worked as a natural foods chef, baker, economic analyst, and owner of a building maintenance business.
"Boilerplate" first appeared in The Dalhousie Review.